I don't know
what's happening to me, I really need an explanation. I'm back to being my delusional
self; fan-girling things and stuffs, I can't help it. However now, I think I sorta
know that they're unreal. Would that make me not-too-delusional? I know that they're
not real for people like me. They're so far, far away, unreachable. I will
actually still need a real-life guy. Many times I also saw myself can't understand what those 'severely delusional' fangirls
think, who gave them strength to continue life just adoring
someones that forever can not be yours? Even breaking up on their boyfriends just because they
prefer their idols better. In fact, these celebrities, they won't even know that you're existed. I think I once led that life too, but given the
chance to feel how's life with a real partner really turns my point of view
upside down. It is nice, to actually be able with someone you love. Though he's
lacking in many things compared to your idol, but he's real. You can touch him,
hug him, share your stories... And he will hug you back, hear your stories,
calm you down... Things you can not expect to receive from your idols, how big
the love you have for him, how deep you love him. I didn't say that I have stopped
loving idols, but I think I would have to say that beyond that, I will actually
still prefer a 'real guy'.
18/09/13
Dedicated for SJ's
LEH, I'm writing this thinking of you, realizing that we realistically will never
ever be together, no matter how deep you've stabbed your name in my heart. No
matter how it so hurts just thinking of you, looking at your photos. Reality is
cruel.
